Khushi - My Top Pick for the Razzies

How can people make such movies...such utter s***...and how can distributors showcase such movies. Simple economics please, how do people make money...

Now the reason for my rant. Let me explain the basic premise of the movie...It's about a Navel, Kareena's navel, a bare (very sexy!) stomach and the navel there which because of a gust of wind is seen by her 'kinda' boyfriend - they look more like asexual mental cases, primates anyone?? - Fardeen Khan and then the proverbial 'hell breaks loose'...on everyone, more so the audience which by this time is tearing its head - cause no hair is left anyways. Kareena from then onwards starts fighting with Fardeen for 'very obviously' looking at the navel. This continues for 60% of the movie and our supposedly virile Hero is made to feel ashamed of his behaviour.

The rest of the movie is an interplay on extremely regressive themes on women studying beyond a point and having been bethroted even when they did not know about the guy - you see the movie needs action scenes with the hero finally using his pent up sexual frustration in bashing up the poor villanous sod and finally claiming his queen -and heroes doing something for their own country.

Coming to the most hilarious part of the movie, the narration is done by Amitabh Bachhan. Without saying anything about this really great icon of Indian Cinema, lets just focus on the dialogues at the very end narrated by the great man...which mention something about Khushi (Kareena) and Karan (Fardeen) getting married and having kids every year for 12 years...13 kids in all. Question is why 13? (still part of the narration)...Answer is: you see one year they had twins!!

The worst movie...ever!!

Straight - Why Vinay, Why?

Vinay Pathak, you either deserve better or you need to be butchered if you actually knew that this was going to be the final product. This movie is that bad...full stop!!

Now let me be honest here. I should have had an inkling when the ticket counter guy asked me if i was bringing along any 18 year old...unfortunately to my utter embarrassment, there were a couple of 50 year olds who were accompanying me...yup...My Parents (Wry Smile). They wanted to see a funny movie!

Now whats more funny is that this movie is about a 3o something virgin and his sexual - or lack of it - escapades and you can very well imagine my plight...it is definitely not a joke...

Coming to the movie, it is an extremely jittery ride and you tend to groan aloud when Vinay is fumbling around to understand whether he is gay or not. Take for example a scene where he dreams of a guy sleeping in his bed because a guy accidently or otherwise kissed him on the lips...and has a "morning shower" - Try to imagine the scene in your head...it just feels icky. Now why would the director - Parvati Gopalan in this case - try to have scenes like that is something beyond explanation.

Coming to the acting, Vinay Pathak comes across as an earnest character but this movie is too cheap for him. Same goes for Gul Panag, though i must say her dressing is hideous (what with the snake like bindis and kohl...ughhh). The other actors like Anuj Chaudhary, Siddharth Makkar, Ketki & Rasik Dave are quite good but what lets them all down is the amaterurish script. Hope they get better roles in the future.

Anyways, if you intend on watching a really funny - and mindless - comedy dealing with homosexuality, watch Dostana instead...atleast it will make you laugh!

Chandni Chowk to China - Kung Fu Hustle meets Bollywood

This movie is hilarious...exactly at those points where it is not intended to be!!

Now here is the sad part, since this is a Akshay Kumar movie - and i am inclined to say that i like his style of comedy and therefore i like to watch his clean masala flicks - i did not read the reviews and went to watch the film with very high expectations. They all came crashing down!!

Infact the movie starts very well. The first fight sequence and then the way the narration moves from China to India and then to the heroes abode is very gripping and just then Akshay gets a kick on the backside and so do we....the pain of those kicks linger throughout the film...

In fact i have one simple question for the director....why...why do you need to add those 15 odd minutes of akshay flying across delhi after getting kicked, or why do you need need the song sequence in the middle of a flight journey.They are not even FUNNY!!

The entire movie suffers from not knowing where its placed. Is it an action film showcasing Akshays kung fu skills. Is it a rip off of Kung Fu Hustle - must say without the meaning of that superb film - and a mix of bollywood or Is it a comedy where the director makes it such a bad movie that it actually becomes a masterpiece??

Sadly, None....though Kung Fu hustle is primarily the take for this movie even though it gets hidden under layers of bad acting and bad direction.

In a gist, the movie revolves around Sidhu (Akshay Kumar), Sakhi (Deepika Padukone), and Chopstick (Ranvir Shorey) travelling to China believing that Sidhu is a reincarnation of some great chinese warrior and who will deliver the residents of a particular village from evil in the form of Hosho. (Nusiance - atleast the names should have been of some sense. Hosho, & Chuchi being prime examples). In this adventure there is an interwoven plot of an indian daughter trying to find her chinese twin sister and a father who has amnesia, god only knows where the mother is....i have a gut feeling Nikhil would have remembered about her when he saw the film himself ;-).

There are some really amazing scenes though throughout the film. The first narration as i have mentioned earlier is very good. Another good scene is the flight scene about akshay loading the luggage...hilarious. The action sets are impressive most of the times. Unfortunately, just good scenes do not make a good film.

Couple that with bad acting..Oh lord!!...Akshay though is the only saving grace somewhat though even he goes very much over the top on many occasions. Deepika is extremely bad. Infact she does not even look that great throughout the film with her awful dressing style and stymied dialogue delivery. Same goes for Ranvir Shorey. In fact at one point of time i felt that the wig will come off for him.

I certainly did not have too many expectation of the director as i have not really appreciated Nikhil Advanis last couple of films Salaam e Ishq and Kal ho na Ho. These films atleast had good acting to speak of which carried them somewhat on the box office.

Musically also this film is weak. 5 music directors are just too many and do not give you a feel of the direction in which the music flows. Kailash Kher is good without being superlative. Everyone else is average.

Now let me come back to the point i made CCTC and Kung Fu hustle. The latter movie had a meaning with respect to the hero finding redemption and his pain was actually felt by the audience even though it was wierdly funny in its approach. In CCTC, the connect is just not there cause the cause identified looks so trivial. After the first shot where the villagers are shown to be under extreme stress, the entire movie shows them to be quite content. After all they dont seem to work after the first shot. Also, as far as redemption is concerned, it would have been better if akshay had been serious about the Kung Fu lessons or even the fact that he needs to overcome the physical injuries in extreme ways. Here it looks like a stroll in the park for the reigning bolly champ.

I have heard that it is semi autobiographical in nature. I am right now doubling over with laughter!!...if only...Sigh...

Finally , please carry shades in the theatre...u will need them near the climax when the screen increduously starts flashing white every couple of seconds. You will need them to protect your eyes...

Or better go watch SlumDog Millionaire - an experience you will not easily forget....